What can we do to see the most change and growth during therapy?

I'm glad you asked. You're spending time, emotional energy, and money on this process - I hope that all clients can walk away from that investment feeling that they saw tangible and long lasting change.

Mindful and intentional participation

Show up to session with your full attention, and with a willingness to challenge yourself to do things differently.

Take time before your appointment to think about what you want to work on in therapy that day, and take time after the appointment to write down what you are taking away from the session and what you want to work on until the next one.

Vulnerability, honesty, and openness

Be honest in session about your thoughts, concerns, and needs.

Try your best to really and truly understand where your partner is coming from, and be willing to take accountability for the ways you are contributing to the pain in your relationship.

Engage in self-reflection and curiosity about your own behaviors and emotions.

If you think your partner is the only problem in the relationship, be open to the idea that the problem isn't just you, or just your partner - it's the relationship dynamic that happens between you.

Proactivity

Don't wait until your crisis point to look for therapy - getting support and help as early as possible greatly increases the likelihood of therapy making an impact.